“Be Cute, but Real in this Ugly World”

22 Oct

A look into NERD IN A JOCK™

I wanted use my first entry to tell you how and why I started this site, blog, and what I plan to do with it.

I first would like to thank you for visiting the site, for the love and support; whether in my personal life or social media gateways such as Twitter. I am very grateful, excited about what’s going on in my life, and what’s to come. Hopefully we have had a chance to cross paths on other social networks portals and you already have a better understanding of what I am about and some of the things that interest me. Now that the site is up and running I wanted to provide you with more information about not only what those interests are, but also what interests you, the readers, and the wonderfully diverse individuals I have and continue to come across.

The idea to create the site and blog came recently. I have always been an avid reader, and can get lost in the magic of words, but I was never much of a writer; unless it was computer software coding or I had to. So by no means do I consider myself a technical writer, but writing has become a wonderful and powerful escape from the trials and tribulations of life.

I always wanted to have a career that was part of my life, in other words, I always wanted the two to go hand and hand. I did not want the two to be separate from one another, and wanted to enjoy the fact that my career was a part of my life. I wanted a career that I appreciated and it appreciated me, one that got me excited and motivated to get to work, kept me focused and out of trouble. One that I could share with others, where I would have earned the respect of my peers, colleagues and everyone and anyone I came in contact with.

Fortunately, we now have this little thing called “the Internet” and it’s biggest child social media which has enabled me to reach, and build on some of those wants and goals, whether in my career or personal life, and many times simultaneously. From time to time we lose sight and focus on how fortunate most of us truly are, and because of the great people around me who keep me grounded, sane, and always there to snap me back into reality, I never forget how blessed I am. Fortunate, appreciative, and thankful for the God given abilities I have been blessed with. One of those has been the ability to relate with people from all walks of life and always finding some common ground, the other, the ability with and use of words, and languages.

I remember tweeting something and one of my friends in particular, wasn’t really fond of it and she made sure to let me know of her dislike. At first I thought to myself, “I can’t tell if she’s joking or not,” because I believed what I tweeted wasn’t bad at all, that she took it too seriously, and maybe made something out of nothing. I then took a step back and looked at it from her point of view and actually listened to what and why she said what she said. She pointed out and reminded me that I now have a bigger voice, that the more my following base continues to grow, the more responsibility that entails. As individuals and humans, we do forget that we do influence, impact, and are role models to others no matter how little or big those numbers are; regardless if we want to be or not, we can not escape it.

She reminded me that we all have a voice, some larger than others, and as the famous saying goes, “With great power comes great responsibility.” As humans we go through the motions and we sometimes forget that we live in our own little bubbles, that there is a whole big world out there filled with so many different people, from all walks of life. You truly never know who you are influencing or impacting, positively or negatively, nor how much. The one thing that you can control is how you are impacting someone, whether it be positively or negatively, the choice is yours. I was reminded me that we all have a voice, unfortunately some get drowned out, and for those whose don’t “Are they positively using that voice and uplifting others, and bringing social change?” That is the question I began to ponder and wonder when it pertained to myself. We all have a voice, we all have a social responsibility that we should have some kind of ownnest for; a voice that should be used accordingly.

There I was, in the kitchen at 4:30 in the morning thinking about that, analyzing and looking back at my life, in particular the last few years of my life and what was currently going on. I thought about how I got to where I was and I kept asking myself why, and how things have happened and why they were happening. I use to have a problem accepting when I was wrong and had trouble apologizing, because I couldn’t understand why someone would be upset about something that I normally would not get upset about. Granted I understand that we cannot control all aspects of our lives, but for those that I could, I chose not to. I began to look back at situations that were in my control, some of the mistakes that I had made and why I made them. Mistakes that caused unnecessary and avoidable things to happen, whether that be with friends, family, significant others, etc.; mistakes that caused me to lose some of them, strain my relationships, or push them away.

I was never someone who shared their feelings or opened up emotionally, that is not how things were growing up, especially being the eldest in the family and being the only boy. The men in my family are suppose to be tough and keep their feelings to themselves, that is how it has always been. I would pretend that nothing was wrong and push it aside until it all piled up and came crashing down all at once instead of dealing with them appropriately when they occurred. We moved around few times when I was a kid, so whenever we moved, everything was new to me again, I was learning a new culture, I was young and very impressionable; yet I some how kept my tough exterior. I thought showing emotion and doing any of those things was a sign of weakness and being vulnerable wasn’t an option. Ironically, it only made me more vulnerable even though I believed the people around me could not tell and I was content with that. I was completely oblivious to the fact that they could and were affected by it. In actuality, I lacked that perceptiveness, courage, confidence, and mindset that I believed I had and thought I was displaying.

Throughout the years people have come into my life who have taught me and showed me how to step out of my comfort zone, to share my feelings, to speak my mind, to make my voice heard, and to deal with things instead of pushing them away. Something as simple as saying “I Love You” to someone was tough, because that’s not something I was accustom to doing, at the same time I now have a greater appreciation for it. I saw and learned from others and the people close to me and I began to let go and it has helped me to become the person that I am today. I know that I am not perfect, but I am confident about saying that and that is the important thing. We will always make mistakes, but it is having the confidence to learn from those mistakes, and to continue to want to share, and grow.

I now know that doing these things does not make me a coward nor make me any less of a man, far from it. Without those people, even if they are not in my life today, I know I couldn’t of done it without them and the people by my side today, and without making mistakes, because of those life experiences the bonds that I’ve made are stronger. It has made me a stronger person, not only for the people around me, but more importantly for myself. I allowed circumstances that I had no control over affect me, which I now know is ok do, but the problem was I dealt with them in the wrong way. I chose to not address them till they all built up, and by that point I had no choice, but to deal with them; in most cases it was too late to handle or control.

I realize that no one is perfect, I cannot be perfect, and I never will be; but I can always continue to improve. It is ok to make mistakes, the important thing is learning from those mistakes. Mistakes can make you stronger, not only for the people around, but more importantly for yourself, if you choose to learn from them and are confident in making those changes in your life, no matter how tough they are. I then looked at other things that were happening to people close to me that I had no control over, but have had an impact on my life and continue to. I could not understand why and I saw how those things affected those individuals and how they pulled together, regardless of how bad the situation was or how much they were suffering. As tough as I seem to be at times, I am only human, we all are. I realize, if they could do it, then I could too. We all have that perceptiveness, courage, that mindset, that confidence to keep pushing, fighting, learning, sharing, growing, and that it is ok to a let others help you.

In this new age of the digital world that we live in, I got to thinking if I started a site or blog I would have to dive in head first regardless of what could and would happen. I told myself I would try to not worry about what will happen, “would it fail,” “would people like it,” “would it do well,” etc.; so I got to work. I wanted to develop something that had meaning, that had its own beliefs; that could and would impact others in a positive way. Where my life experiences and interests would all play a part in what I was doing. I love learning, reading, and discussing [Activism, Art, Business, Entertainment, Family, Fashion, Humor, Life, Men, Music, News, Personal Development, Photography, Politics, Relationships and Romance, Society and Culture, Sports, Technology, Travel and Adventure, Women] the list can go on. Boom, a light bulb when off in my head and it hit me. I should go for it and create something that would enable others to do the same: this media format was perfect. Reading, writing, words, and languages are ways that we all express ourselves and we all express ourselves in different ways. I wanted the site to enable us to express ourselves, while not taking us away from ourselves as individuals. I found and learned through this media we are able to do that with confidence and ease.

Now, the name NERD IN A JOCK™ came from being just that, a nerd in a jocks body. Whether I was just a nerd or just a jock I was able to look back at experiences and mistakes that I and the people around me have made, and watching them own up to those mistakes, and learning from them. Watching them fight back and pull through tough times whether it be a death, a divorce, a break up, an illness, athletics, school; anything and everything with courage that I had no idea or understood how it existed, or where exactly it came from. Courage and confidence that I’ve found, developed, and continue to learn I had inside of me all along, that we all have. Whether you classify yourself as a nerd or a jock, we all go through positive and negative experiences. In the end we have more in common than we know, even though a lot of the times we feel miles apart from one another. We are all human, and should all be able to get along in a perfect world, and that perfect world is here.

I wanted the site and blog to embody that. From there NERD IN A JOCK™ was born, that is who I am, how, and what I live. To me it is a lifestyle, it is more than a phrase; it is a way of life, a message, and a belief universal to all, that no matter what life throws at you, who you are, whether a nerd, a jock, [regardless of race, gender, religion, orientation, and so on] you must keep fighting, learning, sharing, growing, and keep going. We all have the choice to be owned by others or something, but we also can choose to be and remain true to ourselves. Do not allow someone or something own you: fight it, learn from it, grow from it, own it, and release it. It is not just my lifestyle of success, individuality, perceptiveness, and most importantly confidence, it is and can be yours too.

I am excited about the site, blog, and what is to come, and it begins with believing in what you are doing, developing, displaying, and owning that confidence that is inside of you in order to do so.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I do believe people change so that you can learn to let go. I do believe things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. And I do believe sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Remember to own each and everyday, surround yourself with good and positive people, and in the end everything will be ok!

I hope that the site and blog gives you more inspiration or impacts you in some positive way, no matter how big or how small, no matter if it is one person or a hundred, as long as it positively impacts one person, then I am on a positive life path. I invite you to freely browse the site, subscribe, follow on twitter, like, comment, email, share, and check back daily for new updates. Visit the “About” section for more information and details.

It is an exciting time when something is new and begins to grow, because each and everyday you appreciate it more and more.

If you have any further questions, comments, spotlight nominations and submissions, interests in being a guest blogger, or business and advertising inquiries: Contact.

Live what you love, love what you do.

Think positive, be positive, and positive things will happen.

Be cute, but real in this ugly world.

Twitter: @nerdinajock



7 Responses to ““Be Cute, but Real in this Ugly World””

  1. peacejasmine April 22, 2014 at 8:29 AM #

    Lovely piece, though too long for me. Interesting beginning as well

  2. debrajwebb July 28, 2015 at 11:17 AM #

    Reblogged this on heArtsonnet blog.

  3. cherycedavis January 7, 2016 at 5:39 PM #

    You touched my heart when I read this. Makes me appreciate having you as my friend even more, even across the miles. Followed you back on Twitter, looking forward to reading more. Love and Light. – C.

  4. Steve February 25, 2016 at 11:30 AM #

    I’m inspired!

  5. dybpentertainmt February 25, 2016 at 5:12 PM #

    Hi J.D, I can relate to a lot in this post, it’s a great blog as you touched on some subjects of which I can relate to. The emotional shut down happened from a young age for me, and I’m still learning to be more open! I also agree with you that this is the perfect world, If only people could see it too. I’m always looking for inspiration, and you have with this piece. Thanks for following me on twitter I really do appreciate it.


  6. realjdobypr March 22, 2016 at 1:47 PM #

    Reblogged this on The Urban Link.

  7. Tony W May 22, 2016 at 2:04 PM #

    Continue to be yourself. Just remember, in this digital world much of it is not true. Don’t compare others peoples highlight film to your documentary. They are apples and oranges 😉

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