Disconnect to Reconnect: A letter to my younger, present and future selves.

19 Oct

Just had that defining moment in life of absolute clarity, and understanding, acceptance without judgment of self or others, and ultimate confidence in self and in others. Realized all I’ve been chasing all my life is truth, which is all we do in our lives. At the root of everything it’s absolution of truth; like-ability, commonality, connectivity, a fight between love and desire, hate and envy (that’s why google exist, top whatever lists and rankings are hot topics.) I realize that now, that it was that simple, all subjective, objective, correlated, relative based our own life experiences and societal lenses.

At the end of the day it’s about getting to the truth of things and true reality of circumstances, moments, etc. not our own perception or others. All based on our own life experiences, level of awareness, setting ego and judgment aside, the value we individual apply to things is all different, relative and relevant. It’s not about the 10% who will always dislike you, nor the 10% who will always love you, it’s all about that 80% and self-that’s in our control. The other 20% is not so much in our control, that’s why, what and where, subconsciously I’ve always lived. It’s why I’ve always maintained and climbed back up out of circumstances even when I thought there was no end in sight.

Realized this is what I was always searching for in things, people and the things that I do, but couldn’t exactly figure out what it was because I never slowed down myself enough because I was trying to keep up with the pace of everything outside of me and how fast the world continues to move. People are getting smarter, along with too much judgement and comparisons. Outside factors leads to disconnection and mix messaging, the only way to get back grounded is to get to the root and truth of it all; including are daily emotions and thoughts. Little defining moments along the way, like business benchmarks, till it finally clicks because I was ready to acknowledge it, process and reflect through it.

When I followed you, I didn’t know who you were are and I’ve always done that throughout my time on here and I just realized why, I just love the message you were sending overall. I realize you were doing the same as I do every day online and offline and why I’ve been able to grow an audience of people and sustain it, it’s because even through life’s bullshit, ups and downs, I was always living my truth no matter what. The problem was I didn’t understand why the hate, confusion or disconnects would come my way, but realized oh no, they just don’t know what I know or have experience. Never looked at friends and followers as dollar signs. I never sold them out for influencer money, looked at them as other people, human beings and I think that’s where people misuse or fail on social media, the internet and in life; they look at people as dollar signs and labels instead of a fellow human being, it’s crazy, but now it all makes sense.

Made me look back at my life and moments when people looked at me funny like I was lying or exaggerating about what I was saying, now I realize it’s because in their world and experience that’s not possible. Instead of reacting contentiously or impulsively, I should have uplifted them and opened a new world to them like someone else did for me. That’s what true paying it forward is, the human impact we leave on people and ourselves, not everything else. Realized not everyone has had the same multicultural experience as I have (vice versa) and don’t actually realize how big the world actually is, how connected it all is at the same time, everyone’s on different frequency.

Now I see why people love sport video games, playing as themselves and adjusting the skill levels of intangibles they possess to what they perceptionally hope or wish that people see in them, but their baseline of that perception is not based on truth and acceptance of total self as is. It’s a short cut and quick fix, which we all do in life to things, but that’s because the truth is hard. I realize I always had clarity, but I was never able to maintain it, and that’s the hardest part, that’s the truth to everything in life and why we quit things so easily, why others sustain, subconsciously or consciously as they moved through life.

Doing what’s best for them without guilt or resentment of others while uplifting and helping grow others into the people they want and can be. Realized that’s true influence and impact, not any of this stuff going all around us. True impact has ripple effects, I don’t need to see the results or know how big that impact is, just if it’s a positive one then I’m ok with that. Realized that’s what I’ve been subconsciously doing all along my entire life and that’s what was embedded to me by those around me, that’s what I was tapped into, encoded with and learned from the spaces, and the lives around me.

Powerful and scary ass overwhelming epiphany, no wonder I felt crazy and out of control so many times in my life or couldn’t find the right words to say, all I had to do was just be myself and the right words would come out and not worry about how it was received, but more so how I delivered that message, thought, emotion, etc. was the key. If I had that realization back then maybe things and situations probably could have been handled better or differently. Knowing that now I can keep moving through life properly, but consciously of self and mindfully of others and the world around me.

A lot of people have that ability and aware of it, some use it for bad and others for good, I chose earlier on, I wanted to leave an impact and do as much good in this world while I’m still in it. Leaving it better than I found it and paying it forward for everything it’s done for me and everyone who’s done something for me. I want to continue to create positive ripple effects that leave a lasting impact even if the people who I’m helping aren’t even fully aware, that’s enough for me. They grow and I grow from the experiences, interactions, and apply it to my tool kit moving forward while minding my business along the way.

At work I get to be Jonah, online I get to be J.D. and at soccer I get to be Spirit – Coach Spirit. Those fulfilments are all aspects of my life, I get to give all of myself to all three because I’m always in the moment and present being myself, noticing all the tiny miracles happening all around us while also helping and uplifting someone else while being inspired and learning from them. In my everyday life, online and offline, I get the opportunity to interact with so many different types of people and demographics all in one day, while learning their nuances and so on daily.

It can be overwhelming for many, I built up my emotional stability and developed coping skills to be able to handle all of that all at the same time and while trying to maintain and stay focused, not go insane. It’s what works for me, but everyone is different and would do things differently, that’s where understanding and respectful open discussions lead to better reactions, more effort and to true solutions. I can’t love the brand more than the people who’ve already been there do, but just like in life we get too comfortable and before we know it, we’re in trouble and fixable, or in trouble and beyond repair.

Finding and discussing the truth reveals the answer to that question. Always go down to the roots of problems, not the perception of them, take ourselves out of it because we all as human beings tend to not take our own advice that we give to others, that’s just human nature. Most us don’t even know we’re doing it when we’re doing so. I get to learn, grow, inform, inspire, engage and empower each day of my life. I get to control how much of much self I give, some days like everyone else I don’t want to talk and I’m exhausted, but at the same time don’t mind letting someone else vent and get out what’s going on their lives without judgement and meet them with understanding and support, that’s helped me grow and sustain my network(s) and relationship(s), online and offline, in life in general as I truly value them and they value me, I think that’s what makes it all work.

My mom is managing her diabetes better and I’m making sure she keeps improving. I think about diabetes, sickle cell, asthma, aids/HIV, cancer, etc., I believe we can reverse diseases and illnesses, mental health, etc. When you give the body the environment that it needs to nurture itself, our bodies want to heal itself, and it’s up to us to decide when we to change our toolbox, continually evolve it and figure out what is are toolbox and continue to add to it daily. The same applies to the mind, growth and continual personal development to be a better whole person each day.

The same goes for a business, brand and company, otherwise things become on the fly, less unified and more disconnected organizationally, not just one position or department, ripple effect, but the butterfly effect teaches us what’s done it’s done can’t go back and erase it. If we were able to erase all the poor decisions we made in our lives, just changing one thing may change the course of the rest of our lives or how it played out. So I try to live without regret, free, but cautious, fair and aware, still a human being at the end of the day just like everyone else in the world is.

Once you start to care about and give back to the things that you’re interested and love more, and more, when you do that those things tend to start to love you back more and more, the same goes in business and building a brand traditionally like it has been throughout time and the same works digitally as well, in order to align the two everything else needs to be aligned too. People align everything and their lives and schedules all time for their kids so their kids can thrive. A brand or organizationally needs that same continued nurturing and more in order to continue to grow and sustain that growth overtime. That’s how you become Nike. The same principle can be applied to a lot of things in life, but with the truth and honesty, and the acceptance of both within decision makers and the team even down to the janitor because they’re part of the family, if they’re feeling good then everyone is feeling good; energy and attitude are both contagious.

Without truth, and honesty, sustainable and cost effect solutions can never be determined, a true baseline to give you a true projection for the future and gear the plan to yield positives outcome along the way for us to reach that overall goal and to be prepared to handle that amount of success and expectations that come with it. Being prepared for things is not a bad problem to have, we make less hurried. A lot of small things equal up to one big thing in the end, but that’s because steps, processing, reflecting, time, trial/error with low risk, no judgment, unified messaging, same page mindsets, and patience were applied through the entire process and with each benchmarks. When you hit home runs or play small ball (bunt, singles, doubles…) doesn’t matter, the question is at the end of the day did you win the game or not.

Like Odell Beckham has one of the greatest catches in NFL history, that’s awesome and sweet, but did the team win that game, no they didn’t; I try to mindful of that. I know if I do well, then the company or group does well, the people who all put it together do well too. I don’t care who gets the credit as long as the job is done and done properly while everyone enjoys themselves throughout the entire process, makes for a better and happier employee who’ll naturally just do extra just because they feel supported throughout the entire process and are seeing the shared and individual rewards start to come back to them. Their overall joy and the belief in the company (mission and/or vision) and in everyone else increases as well. Belief in each other and in themselves results in shining more because everyone is shining and feels part of a family. That’s when great things start to occur which then creates true staying power, peace of mind and healthy sustainable outcomes.

Clarity of mind and a baseline from truth is overwhelming, but it’s brought peace of mind and ultimate confidence in self, in others, in value I put on time vs. vanity (or material things), past, present, and future. Now I know if I died tomorrow that I would be ok that those around me who love and respect me, those I see daily in my day to day life, cashier at my local grocery store, barber, friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers, etc. and my community love me back because I loved and respected them, and that’s all that’s matter.

Finding the truth, growing along the way while helping others do the same in the best way they can, timing of their own and know how to do (access to mentor-ship, community, information, resources, and other factors). Timing for one person is not the time for another, just like conversation, communication and dialogue. I may be able and ready to talk about something, but the other person may not be and that should be ok because within in my truth holds their truth too and hat’s hard handle; to get down to root. I think that’s why I never shared my family (friendships(s), relationship(s)) issues or threw anyone under the bus because their truth is in my truth too, so only the portion of my whole truths only while learning, growing, informing, inspiring, engaging and empowering.

I’m a perpetual optimist and a realist, but at the end of the day just a human being just like everyone else. I’m an introvert forced to be an extrovert. Fortunately, I found my calling and my purpose found me, and I finally just accepted it. What I saw as just common courtesies and manners that we should all have in actuality are gifts and abilities I’ve been using these abilities and nurturing them all my life, but just never realized it, just assumed they were tiny miracles which they also are. I can go on and on, but going to quiet my mind and slow down the rest of the day, enjoy it, cheers.

Feels like a weight off my shoulders, as I kept reading your content and seeing the way you move through life it made me go research who you are even further. I’ve always been approached to do books, radio, tv or speak, but it’s not something I didn’t think I could do or want to do. I like being behind the scenes then in front of it, that’s what prioritized messaging and content over vanity and fame. It’s all fleeting, but that’s because I wasn’t fully confident in myself and fully tapped into my abilities to not only handle it all, but more importantly to maintain it all. I just assumed we all possessed those abilities. I don’t think I’m ready for any that yet, prioritizing family, work and my community first, but when I’m ready I’m going to need some of your guidance and to always check me if I ever lose sight.

People who say something isn’t possible should move out of the way of the people doing it. Wake up every morning with the idea that something wonderful is possible today. Be cute, but real in this ugly world ✨. Welcome to the bright side 💫, continued success, love, growth and good health to you and yours. I live and play for forever, not just for right now, the moment or white space, forever while trying to stay as low key and drama free 😌.

Even a unicorn sometimes forgets they’re special and one of a kind.

Thank you for helping me find that clarity and my truth to the reason that all the confusion caused around me, around all of us, that we’re just trying to do the same. Everyone we interact with, our world, no matter our status in life, or who we are, we leave marks, big or small, that doesn’t matter that’s all relative, but still relevant. Hope the week treated you well and your weekend is treating you even better.


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